Comments on: Journey To Family

By: Caitlin

Caitlin — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 01:58:05 +0000

Your story is beautiful and I admire you for taking that step into decreasing the stigma of Korean adoption by Korean families.

But as a Korean adoptee adopted from a white, American family, I just ask you one thing: Please, never, ever pity or feel regret for a Korean adoptee adopted by a non-Korean family. Don’t feel sad because Koreans stemming from bi-racial adoption don’t get to experience the culture from the place they were born or they don’ get to hear how much they look like like adopted family. Because I would like to think in this modern day, the idea of race can be accepted as a social construct, with scientific evidence proving time and time again, there is no DNA for black, white, Asian, etc. Believe it or not, I have had friends tell me I resemble my white American parents. I tell my mother I may not be hers genetically but somehow I was cursed with her short legs instead of my biological mother’s long ones.

Korean adoptees experience their own unique cultural experience and it is a personal choice if they are interested in Korean culture. It’s taken me 22 years and a move to Korea for year to not feel sad I am not “totally Korean.” I love being an American and I love learning about Korea. But I never, never want someone to pity me because I was not raised by Koreans because my family is my life’s greatest blessing, no matter what they look like or what culture they belong to

By: Grace

Grace — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 02:49:18 +0000

Thank you for a lovely article. I too, am Korean and chose to adopt a Korean boy. Parents want to birth a child that has his smile, her eyes. I too, wanted to look into dark brown eyes and comb straight black hair that was like my own. I wish that more Koreans would adopt. I find it puzzling & disappointing that a country with so many Christians cannot see the relationship of being adopted into the family of God (through Christ) with adopting a child into their family. I also find it puzzling & disappointing to know of Koreans’ disapproval of Korean children being raised by whites, but then not stepping up to the plate. When we went to Seoul to pick up our son, there were people that were very quick to insist that I raise him knowing Korean & being Korean, but they themselves had no thought of adopting.

BTW, perhaps readers need to understand that a child born of an unwed woman would not be registered to the father’s family line, and therefore me legally persona-non-grata. And that a woman & man, even if they wanted to marry, couldn’t without their parents’ signatures of approval.

By: Sonya

Sonya — Fri, 28 May 2010 04:32:55 +0000

I am Korean American and adopted from Korea. I am proud of my 2 1/2 year old son and very happy I can continue my culture through him. There is no difference in how much you love your children…they come into the world and to us differently, but the rest is the same. Thank you for the article, it is very heartwarming. I also pray one day our culture will change to allow the same rights and opportunities as women have here in the U.S.

By: seksencyclopedie

seksencyclopedie — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 12:33:59 +0000

Nice share! Appreciate it. I’m kinda new here, will follow your blog from now on :)

By: TJ

TJ — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 00:51:25 +0000

as a korean adoptee i can honestly say
i dont know if i could love an adopted child
just as equally as a child that is actually
flesh and blood to me…
if i’m gonna have a child it will be from my womb…
and its not cuz i hold some type of stigma/shame
towards adopting a kid…
but to me, i just feel it wouldnt feel the same…
and i dont think ppl should view it the same…
its cool ppl can say that. that they can love
both their child equally, but giving birth
and adopting are two DIFFErent experiences…
if it wasnt so different than why bother
getting pregnant in the first place??
and for me, i want to experience that joy
of giving birth. i want to experience that joy
of having a child thats connected to me
and a part of me- an experience i could never
achieve if i ended up adopting…

of course, when it comes to taking sides
of having my own vs adopting…
i’m just expressing how i feel in my mind…
and not from ACTUAl experience, so who knows…
i just know NOW that intellectually,
i would prefer having my own than
having to raise someone elses kid…
but if i absolutely had to adopt…
i’d prolly only want to adopt another korean…
cuz i think i would end up bonding with that
child more than someone whose not korean…

anyways, i dont think your any different than
those women who adopt because they have
trouble getting pregnant….
IF you were able to get pregnant
but ended up choosing NOT to
and just ended up adopting…
THAN i would say, hey, THATs DIFFerent…

still, i give some type of admiration…
its not everyday you see other
korean american families
open to adopting others. and i think its cool
you chose to adopt another korean…