The Happiest Man in America

Alvin Wong and his wife, Trudy Schandler-Wong. Such bliss.

Ever wonder who the happiest man in America is? No? Gallup’s figured it out for you anyway.

The New York Times asked Gallup, which compiled the first-ever daily assessment of U.S. resident’s health and well-being, to figure out a statistical composite for the happiest person in America.

Gallup came up with this: a tall, Asian American, observant Jew, who is at least 65 and married, has children, lives in Hawaii, runs his own business and earns more than $120,000 a year.

And yes. He exists.

Alvin Wong is a 5-foot-10, 69-year-old, Chinese American Jew, who’s married with children. He runs his own health care management business in Honolulu and earns more than $120,000 a year.

Wong told The Times that he may be the happiest man in America because “my life philosophy is, if you can’t laugh at yourself, life is going to be pretty terrible for you.”

That’s all fine and dandy, but my theory is that he’s the happiest man in America because he’s probably the ONLY PERSON WHO FITS THOSE REQUIREMENTS.

But that could be my bitterness talking, since you know, I’m short, Christian, 20-something, unmarried female who lives in California and I earn a meager salary (cough, cough). But hey, at least I’m Asian American.

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